Curious...

So the Spirit of God is one of the three, from my understanding equal to God because He is God. Would that be an incorrect statement?

In the early church (new testament times) the Spirit of God would be present and the people would pray and worship until the Spirit was finished. They didn't stop. There was no time limit on preaching, teaching, praying, worshipping, etc. So my question: Why do we as Christians rush the Spirit? Why when He is moving do we decide we need to do something else?

Are we as a church afraid of the Spirit of God? Can fear be a bad thing? I think a healthy fear of God is a good thing. Proverbs states, "Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge and wisdom." When Moses approached Mt.Sinai to receive the ten commandments from God, God tells Moses to consecrate the people for two days and prepared them for God's appearance on the third day so they could hear God. Then God speaks through the thick cloud to Moses and the Israelites. The Israelites are scared so, they tell Moses they don't want to hear God, they want to hear Moses. Did that fear not instill in them the essence and power of the one and only Holy God? I would think that it would. Don't know I wasn't there, but it seems logical to me. Seems like the Spirit of God moving would be a powerful and awe inspiring thing.

I guess I "feel" like the church is missing something today, the moving of the Spirit, but I don't understand why? Or maybe He is not missing in all situations, but He is being asked to leave because we need to move on the the next point of worship. I know there is no good answer to my question. It's just a question.

Where is the power of God? An author in a book I am currently reading states, what if you were stranded in the desert and all you had was the Bible and you had never attended a church. You read that Bible, loved that Bible, then were saved and wanted to go to church, would your expectations be different than what you currently see, hear and feel?

Points I am currently pondering/praying about...

Been a while...

Obviously, it has been quite awhile since I have posted anything on my blog. Busy, busy, busy...

During the spring, we were busy with spring soccer for Little Man and preparations for the Science Olympiad for Kid-O, school, Emmaus walks, Chrysalis flights, VBS and vacation, as well as church activities. Speaking of church activities, the hubby has been the Minister of Music at a church about fifteen minutes from here since the second week of January. He is still the interim there. We believe this is where God would have us serve; however, we are still waiting on God's perfect timing.



Life has been interesting to say the least. God has been teaching me lots about myself and my need for Him, my dependence on Him. It's funny how you think you can do things by yourself, to only have God knock you back several steps and say, "No, you can't".

See a few years back, after many hurts within the church body, I put myself inside of a box. A beautifully wrapped box. God has allowed me to keep my box while He was healing the wounds; however, I knew that God was going to make that box (my security blank, as some might say) go away. I have fought thinking, I like my box, I need my box, my box is good for me, it keeps me from getting hurt. But see here's the thing, that box does not allow me to be as effective of a Christian as God has called me to be. Because inside that box, all my fears co-existed with me.

In saying that, I can say many wounds have healed in the pasted 2 1/2 years, there was still some left; however, the box must be opened and I must move out of that box for God to continue to heal the remaining wounds, so I can be effective for Him.

By grace I am saved, through love I am being healed.

Spina Bifidia Occulta

So, I would assume most people remember Little Man's journey through diagnosis, treatment, and recovery of his tethered spinal cord. Well, at the time I knew it was related to spina bifidia, but I didn't know how. And of course, if you don't ask, doctors don't tell you a whole lot.

Well, a couple of weeks ago, God introduced me to a complete stranger whose daughter has spina bifidia as well. Sophie has the lipo form of spina bifidia. They, like us, did not know until they started seeing signs that something was just not right with their daughter. Sophie's form of SB is more severe than Little Man's, but still not the worst form. The form of spina bifidia most people think of is the most severe, which is the one where you see the hole in the back. Where as Little Man has the least severe (Spina Bifidia Occulta) of all the forms, Praise God. Anyway, as we talked about the tethered spinal cord and the releasing surgery and all that kind of stuff. She asked who our neurosurgeon was and all those related questions. I also told her that I was confused because they released us, but yet there is the possibility that the cord could re-tether, especially during periods of rapid growth.

So she proceeded to give me information on a SB clinic at UAB where the spina bifidia kids go and they see all their doctors in one day. So I am contacting them to find out what we need to do to get Little Man into that clinic. The main advantage to being in the system is that they see him yearly, so if we ever see signs/symptoms of re-tethering he already has a group of doctors. We don't have to go back through everything we went through previously. So we'll see...

Interesting facts about spina bifidia:
1) It is hereditary. I was told don't worry about it, your other children are fine. So when Little Man gets married and he and his wife are considering children she will need to take additional folic acid supplements months before conceiving. SB occurs within the first 28 days of in utero development.
2) It is more prevalent in people of Irish, Whales, etc decent. We are. The geneticists don't understand the correlation yet, but they know there is on.
3) 87% of all spina bifidia patients have blue eyes. Little Man has blue eyes. Yet again, the geneticists don't know the correlation, but there is one some how. That doesn't mean if you have blue eyes you have SB, it means that 87% of SB positive people have blue eyes. Just want to clarify.

Fast...

Update: Day 12 or 40
Scripture is how it is going...

1 Corinthians 10:12-13
"So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall? No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a wya out so that you an stand up under it."

Day 2

So day 2 of the 40 day fast has begun, what had God shown me already?

Let me start with, we are not fasting food; however, many are on this journey. For the hubby and I, we both truly believe that God was telling us to fast something else, other than food. Something for us that would be a great sacrifice for us. Which by the way, we are only on day two and God is carrying us. Fasting is to give up what is a sacrifice for you. For some it is food, for some spending, for some watching TV, it depends on the person or people. Fast what God leads, then you know you are in His will.

First, He will carry me and the hubby through.

Secondly, we are reading one chapter a day starting with Jonah to the end of the Old Testament. There are exactly 40 chapters. Last night reading the first chapter of Jonah, which I have read several times, God gave me something different. It's found in Jonah Chapter 1 verses 5, 6. It reads:

"Then the sailors became afraid and every man cried to his god, and they threw the cargo which was in the ship into the sea to lighten it for them. But Jonah had gone below into the hold of the ship, lain down and fallen sound asleep.

So the captain approached him and said, "How is it that you are sleeping? Get up,call on your god Perhaps your god will be concerned about us so that we will not perish."

So where do we see such a response in the New Testament? Can anyone guess? You got it Matthew Chapter 8: 24,25 along with the other gospels as well.

"Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"

Anyway, nothing profound, just found it interesting that Jonah obviously trusted and had faith, otherwise he would not have been asleep as Christ did.

Amazing Hubby

For those of you who are married, do you ever really stop and think about what God has blessed you with in your husband.

This is what God gave me... A man of strong convictions... A best friend... A man who cares for me and about me... Loves me as Christ loves me... He is my daily picture of God... If you were to ask me when I was the closest to God this week, most of the time the answer would be when the hubby did this... He praises God... He talks to God... He talks about God with me... He sees me as a gift from God... He tells me I am perfect and means it... His pleasure comes from my pleasure... A great dad... Patient... Head of household, I don't have to be... A picture of Christ to our children... Soft spoken, unless it is the time to not be... Focused... Thoughtful... Loving... Tender heart... God loves me though him daily...

I could go on all day. I just felt the need to tell others just how wonderful he is, and how God blesses me daily through him.

The Face of God...

Have you ever seen the face of God?

I have several times. This time was different though. Let me give you the background information leading up to this face of God.

So as many of you know, the Hubby and I work the Walks to Emmaus. We love serving God in such as a way. Well, when saying yes to serving on these walks, you know that Satan hates them and will attack the team. Well, I have not been the recipient of attacks until this walk coming up this weekend, other team members have been. The hubby was serving on the conference room team for the men's walk this past weekend while Satan was attacking me.

So anyway, Saturday returning home from my final team meeting, I was traveling down Research park at 60 to 65 miles per hour. Anyway, someone came passed me on my left, then obviously realized they were about to miss their exit to head west. So this individual comes to a dead stop, and I mean dead stop in the right hand lane trying to get into the exit lane. I had to slam on my brakes to keep from hitting this individual. Anyway, I didn't think much about it, other than they just weren't paying attention to what they were doing.

Then not ten to fifteen minutes later, I was traveling on a five lane road, two east, two west, one turn lane. Anyway, I was traveling east and to the north there was a road coming out up ahead. I see an individual on a bicycle coming up on that road. I see him slow down, so I assume he is stopping and not coming out into the road. Well, I assumed wrong. He proceeded to come on out crossing the westbound lanes of traffic, through the turn lane and about to come out in front of me, as I am traveling 40 to 45 miles per hour. I managed to miss hitting this guy by a matter of three feet or so. Not much.

At that point, I begin to pray, asking God, "What is going on? Why all the craziness today?" Then proceeded on to my final destination. Well, later that same night (Saturday) coming home from a Emmaus worship service with a van full, literally. I was traveling on the highway where the speed limit is 65, and I was traveling around 72, 73. Anyway, we get off the main highway to cut through to get back to my house. I was listening to one young person talking, and driving, and I guess just not paying attention or something. I have no clue what I was thinking. Anyway, not but a mile or so after getting off the main road, I got pulled over by a police officer. He came up to the van, and asked why I was traveling 68 in a 45. I apologized like you would not believe. I really didn't know what else to say. I don't travel that fast with all my kids in the van.

Anyway, he goes back to his car, comes back a few minutes later and says, "I'm going to let you off with a warning this time." In shock, and still apologizing because I deserved the ticket, I signed the warning ticket. As he was handing the warning to me, I looked up at him and knew I was looking at the face of God. I touched his hand and said, "thank you, thank you" All the while looking at his face knowing I was looking at one of the many faces of God and he had just saved us from something horrible. I don't know how to explain it, I just know. I don't know what God saved us from, and I will probably never know. I just know that God saved our lives that night. Whether I was traveling too fast or whether there was danger up ahead. Nobody knows other than God what he saved us from, I just know that God saved us that night. I so wish there was words to explain how you know it is God, but there are none. You just know, in the pit of your Spirit, you just know. You just know that God has spoken to you.

My God is so much bigger than Satan. Needless to say, I was a wreck, because I knew. I never know how to explain, other than I just knew that was God telling me to turn around an go back to the main highway. See, when that cop said, you've got to turn here then there and so on, it dawned on me about the detour. Remember, I said we were heading the back way home. Well, I forgot that you had to detour around, to literally in the middle of no where. No lights, no main roads, no towns, no nothing, just roads in not great parts of the county.

I knew to most this is just all coincidences, but it is not. And if you don't think it's a conincidence then you might not understand. That's okay too. But my quess is, if you are a child of God, you have similar experiences were you have seen God protecting, loving, caring, etc. for you. See Satan does not want me on this upcoming walk, but God does. Satan hates these walks, becuase God uses them to change peoples lives. God is bigger.

God is allowing me to be tested. I just have to stay focused on God and that he is bigger than the one that causes the trouble. Satan can only touch me if God allows him too. Praise God that I am His. That he is a Father that protects, provides, loves, but yet disciplines when we need it.

God is Amazing!!!!

Broken...Part 3

Okay, so back to my brokenness. I was no longer confused about what God did, or why for that matter. But I was confused about why I told anyone, I'm not now, because I see now how God used it to grow me more into the image of Christ. Example: Did I handle the situation (trials and tribulations) the way I should have, NO. I failed God horribly, but the good news is, He knew I would, He has forgiven me, and has grown me. You ask, where/how did you fail God? Well, God showed me that I did not love those throwing stones the way I am called to love them. God showed me that I was sitting in the judgement seat, Ouch, not looking forward to being judged by God, but I will be. These are the areas where God showed me I failed. God lead me to send a letter of apology and explanations of where I failed.

So you ask, why are you so broken, if you not longer doubt, are confused, and understand why you went through it. Well, James 3:6 says, "The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." Verse 8-10, "...It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be." I urge you to read all of James chapter 3, but my understanding is that words destroy. Here I believe it is talking about the church body, but I believe it to be just as relevant to individuals in situations that God allows. That is where my brokenness is at. I was called a "liar, gossip, and prideful." It is very difficult to get those words out of your mind. I have to think on what is true, noble, praiseworth, etc (Philippians 4). Words destroy. God is rebuilding my heart slowly, one piece at a time, showing me my failures. At this very moment, I can think of one thing I said, that probably caused some destruction as well. I have had to ask God for forgiveness of that as well. There may be more as well, I don't know. I don't claim to know, and I sure don't claim to know where God has shown others where they failed. I have had to ask for lots of forgiveness, for mistakes I made.

The Hubby and I, with God's direction of course, has lead us to a new church where the Spirit is alive and very active. We praise God for that, but it is hard. We were so comfortable with our church family, which was our family since we are transplants and have no local family. The hubby told me Sunday, as we were discussing my brokenness and my healing and the difficulty in entering a new church that I should be praising God that I am even still going to church. The hubby said, many people that go through issues within the church many times, just leave the church altogether never to return. He is right.

So I prayed that I would come out unscathed. I didn't, but I know I am stronger for it all. I ask that you all pray for me and my brokeness. That God continue to grow me past it. Showing me my failures and where I was in His image.

Broken...Part 2

So back to my brokenness. Being confused after God laying me on that church floor, I prayed much and often for God to show me, to speak to me, to give me scripture. For everything to be from Him and only Him. I wanted to understand. Through some scripture, from the Book of Acts and Pentecost, I began to understand that it was God that laid a hand on me that night. I fought God tooth and nail on everything in my life.

Example: I thought I was saved at a young age. I could not tell you my age, I just remember walking the isle, answering "I Do" to a few questions and that was it. No praye, no repentance, no nothing. So for all those years, Satan had me where he wanted me, God didn't, but I thought He did. So as God would gently nudge me, I would think that Satan was trying to make me doubt, but I was really fighting God. Finally, it got to the point that I could not drop it, so as I was going to bed one night, two years ago, I prayed "Okay, God if I am not yours, wake me in the middle of the night." Well, along rolls 2 something in the morning, if I remember correctly, and Kid-O, the child that sleeps like the dead, literally, comes into our room, to my side of the bed, and wakes me saying, (I will never forget these words)"Mommy, this light came on and I can't turn it off." Well, that light, was a blinking Magnetix light, the kind you have to twist to turn on and off. How did it get turned on in the middle of the night, and then wake the one child that never wakes. I immediately got on my knees, after a potty break, and began to repent. I saw ALL my sins on that cross. My SINS put Christ there. My SINS speared Him in the side. At that point, I prayed, I repented, and I believed. It took God about 18 years to get me to stop fighting Him.

So that night, on the church floor, God was telling me, you will not fight me any more. So, I don't fight God much any more. Example: God told me to lay hands on a young women who had been unable to get pregnant for about two years, I think. Anyway, I fought God. I will not do this, you can't ask me to do this. I even talk to my pastor about it. After about two weeks, of God talking to me, telling me you will do this, I finally called this young women, that I had only met about two months prior to this, and told her what I believed God was telling me to do. She accepted what I was telling her and I immediately went to her house. I laid hands on her and prayed for her womb to be opened. After that, there was a peace in me. Four months later, she and her husband came over to tell us they were having a baby. They had just found out. So needless to say, I don't fight God as much as I used too. I am not perfect by any means, so please don't think that is what I am saying. I am just learning to listen and obey.

In the midst of all of this, that same dear, sweet wonderful friend, knowing my confusing, urged me to talk to someone about what had happened to me. So I did. Which is one of the best decisions I have ever made, even though it ultimately led to my brokenness, ill-spoken words on my part as well as others, and us leaving the church that God drew us to six and an half years ago, I am a stronger Christian for it. I finally got up the nerve to speak to my minister. I could tell when I spoke to him that he doubted what I was saying. Which is fine, we are all entitled to our beliefs. Anyway, through that doubt, my confusion came back. Which yet again, God used. I prayed more, and more, about it, asking God for some scripture to support what He had done in my life. And God being God, Faithful, He gave me Daniel Chapter 10. Daniel Chapter 10 (I'd link you but that was before I started blogging) was exactly what I needed at the time. I no longer doubted what God did, nor will I ever. I had never read the Book of Daniel, so to read chapter 10 was my answer from God. The hubby and I still don't truly understand what the real problem was or is, we just know if was a problem.

I am going to stop now and try to finish this in one more post. We'll see.

So Broken...

So this past weekend was a wonderful one. The hubby and I started our meetings for the upcoming fall Walks to Emmaus. At these meetings, you find yourself examining yourself. You can't serve others if you are not in the right spot with God. Anyway, Saturday sitting in the meeting, God was speaking to me, so clearly about how broken I am. I didn't not realize how broken until Saturday and then again on Sunday when the pastor preached on Dave and Nathan.

So here is part of my testimony taken straight from my journal, written 9-29-07, the middle of the night. I will not explain everything in this one post. It would be too long; however, I will explain and write all of it, to completely explain why I am so broken.

Sometime in the middle of the night, 9-29-07:

"Wow, what a night. First I knew about candlelight, but I did not know what would happen or what to expect. I knew Mom and dad would be here. I had no clue that Chris would come. I know I hoped he would but I did not expect it because of the kids.When I saw him that was a blessing. I began to cry as if I had not seen him in weeks. Just making eye contact with him and taking that rose from him was more than I could handle or imagine. It was almost like I was seeing him differently and he was seeing me differently. Then just knowing all those people came just for us to know they were praying for us. Wow! what an amazing experience. Then after everyone left we had our time of release again if we wanted too. Well last night I thought I laid it all down but I did not. This morning when we went back in for communion, they asked us to place a piece of bread in the basket as we lay the things down that we don't want to carry anymore. I felt led to place a piece in for each burden I was carrying and wanted to let go of. I did and my load was so much lighter. So tonight I had nothing else to lay down, but I was still crying uncontrollably. Pastor Phil asked why? I told him I was tired of being that verse in II Timothy where you are always studying but never coming to the truth of the knowledge. He asked if I had ever asked God to give me the full power of the Holy Spirit. I said, "no". I don't know what that means or what to think of that either. He placed his hands on me and began to pray over me. Me head began to feel light, my arms were beginning to go limp. I was aware of everything because I was trying to keep control I wanted to make sure they weren't doing anything to me. He wasn't other than praying over me. As all went limp, I just laid back on the floor, still aware of what was going on telling myself this was not real, but I did not do anything, they did nothing to me. I can not explain it. It is scary and surreal. I am scared to tell Chris. What if that was the one thing he did not agree with. What if he thinks Iam stupid and lost my mind. I still don't know what to think about that experience. I know in my heart if it was a true God give experience that He well grow it. If it was not from my Father I ask that you remove I from me. I only want to be honorable to you, no one else, and no one thing. Whether what I experienced tonight was real or not I know that I have freedom from the craziness that was in my mind before laying all that crap out on the cross. I am changed for the better. I just pray Father that I don't leave with more questions than I came with. I am trusting you to remove from me the verse in II timothy. I am trusting you to give me that teachable heart, the one that desires to know you, see you, talk to you , and hear you."

9-30-07 (morning)
"I am scared Father,I don't understand what happened and why. I know I am scared and I need and want to talk to my husband, to get his idea. I am afraid he will find the experience quite crazy and think I'm weird. I don't even come close to understanding so how do I explain it to anyone else."

9-30-07 (later that morning)
"Father, I think you for sending me to the chapel during breakfast this morning. I knew I needed some answers. I thank you for putting Randy where I could see him. Someone my father trusts. I talked to him and told him what happened and how I felt. He helped to explain, but left to get Donald. Pastor Donald gave me some scripture to back up what had happened because I don't want to do anything to displease you. Then you sent Cathy in. She told me how after you had filled here with the Spirit the Word just came alive. Well that is what I was asking for. I believe that your Words will jump off the page and become alive to me."

So these are words from my journal. Here is the filler information. The night that I hit the floor. I was at the alter, fighting God. I was telling Him, he was not going to make me hit the floor. I was not going to fall. Needless to say, God won, I lost. He laid me on that floor. My dear wonderful friend came over to me and asked me if was okay. I said yes. I wanted to get up, but I couldn't. All I could do was roll my head one way or the other, and tell my friend I was okay. I was laying there, still fighting God, telling him I was going to get up and He was telling me no. Holding me there until I had given up all fight that I had in me. Later that evening when I went to the restroom, I looked in mirror and I glowing, or so pale that I was glowing. I knew I was looking at myself, but there was no definition to my face. That Randy that I saw the next morning, that I knew I could trust because my dad knew him and had worked with him for many years. Well, it was the wrong Randy, God knew I needed someone, so He lined everything up for me to be able to talk to some one, some one I knew I could trust. My father thank Randy for talking to me later that week at a meeting. That's how we figured out it was not the same Randy. Then the hubby, believed every word and understood every word I was telling him. God had spoken to him, but he was not able to tell me until I came home from my walk. So He experienced the power and realness of God as well, just in a different way.

Okay. I think that is enough for now. I could type forever, but I know you all have more important things to do than read this. I will finish in one or two more posts. (This post will explain many posts from a year ago or so.)

Karios on the Inside

One of the several reasons we were on a week long trip around North and South Carolina was for my cousin Mark. I have not seen my cousin in 7 years. Mark is 2 years younger than me, I believe and has daughter two weeks younger than Kid-O.

Anyway, seven years ago, he made a horrible mistake. He helped a guy rob someone, put them in the car and relocated him to another location (ie. kidnapping). Of course this is the very short version of the story.

Within the first year in Kershaw, maxi mun level prison in South Carolina. My cousin was blessed with the opportunity to go through Kairos on the Inside, which is the Walk to Emmaus for prisoners. What a blessing that was in his life. I pray that God using his testimony over, and over again. Anyway, during that time in prison, he says, "God has really blessed me. Not a hair on my head was ever hurt. I was shown favor by the guards and prisoners alike." He has stayed in God's word for all these years, daily. I pray that God leads him to continue down that path and that God's keeps temptation from him. Mark told me, "I can only do this with God's strength." Praise God that he knows that now. I just ask that you all pray for him. This is going to be a difficult time in his life. Right now he is on 90 house arrest. He can not step out of the door of the house.

May God bless Tim and his wife, who have listen to God's call on their lives. Tim was Mark's table leader 6 years ago on Kairos and his wife worked the kitchen. Thank you and all glory be to God. Tim has continued to stay in touch with Mark over the years. The hubby and I believed as Christians we are to support those who need the support, whether they are family or not. I asked for extra special prayers for my cousin.

Emmaus Update...

Back in March, I believe, I believed God was telling me it was time for a dear friend to go on her Walk to Emmaus. I called her, talked to her about it, asked he to pray and see what God's leading for her was.

A few days later, I received her application in the mail. So the weekend of July 16 through July 19, she was on her walk. It is all her experience to tell, but I know the blessing from the hubby and I's end were amazing. God gets all the praise and glory for what He did in her life. What he taught her, showed her about herself, and the moving of the Holy Spirit.

It was an amazing weekend for her, the hubby and myself. I want to thank everyone that prayed for her over those three days.

New Church....Maybe So

So, last night, I thought it would be a good idea to take the kids to the park to play for a little while. Well, while we were there, a couple with two boys came up (one of which has man health issues as well). Of course, we started talking, about just moving down here, what all is around to do, and then church came up. Imagine that, God using people again.

So, anyway, they told us the name of the church and where it was locating, that kind of stuff. Well, oddly enough, it is the same church that our dentist recommend, but he could not remember the name, so we ended up at the name it and claim it church. Back to the point, after we left the park, the hubby decided to go find this church. As we were driving, looking for this church, all of a sudden the church sign light comes on in perfect timing for us to turn into the parking lot.

Coincident, maybe, God, most likely. So we know where we are going to church this Sunday, days in advance. Wow.

By the way, I feel like Going Goofy, going bland so I have not been posting much lately. Maybe I will start doing a little better before to much longer.

You know it is great when life is slow and there is little to be done; however, when there is little to be done there is little to write. Praise God for the slowness for life right now.

Saturday, the hubby and I got a lot done around the house before the rain came. I got the grass cut, the hedges trimmed, and we found all the sprinkler heads (man they installed a lot of them), the hubby unclogged the bathroom pipes (good thing we bought the auger versus renting one), fixed one set of sprinklers, cut the died limbs from the dogwood tree, and a few other things.

We went to Mega church yesterday, it took 30 minutes to sign our kids into Sunday school. We had to be finger printed and our pictures taken. All this to drop off and pick up our children. The associate minister preached, the hubby and I agree with everything that he said; however, we got the impression that the sermon was out of the norm for this church. We get the impression it is more of a feel good church with the regular minister. We will probably try it again with the regular minister just to see.

One thing that the hubby and I are really learning right now is what God's church has become. Which is an excellent thing to be learning, due to our still feeling led to pastor a house church. It is really sad how we as humans have set up the church the way we think it should be and not the way God ever intended it to be. Last week, for example, we were actually at a church that is "name it and claim it". I have never actually been to a "name it and claim it" church until then. I knew they existed, but never attended. Well, I have now.

We know and trust that God will put us where He wants us and when He wants us there. But we also know that, He may not want us to plant roots anywhere other than where we attend on Sunday nights. If we truly our being called to pastor a house church, we don't need roots in a local church other than on Sunday nights. And we love where we are at in the evenings and the kids really like it as well.

Random...

My parents minister gave the Hubby a book a while back. We we both finished the books we were working on, so we swapped books. I read this last night and thought it wonderful and worthy of sharing with others.

"If a random sample of one thousand American Christians were taken today, the majority would define faith as belief in the existence of God. In earlier times it id not take faith to believe that God existed-almost everybody took that fr granted. Rather, faith had to do with one's relationship to God-whether one trusted in God. The difference between faith as 'belief in something that may or my not exist' and faith as 'trusting in God' is enormous. The first is a matter of the head, the second a matter of the heart. The first can leave us unchanged, the second intrinsically brings change."

"Any church that will not accept that it consists of sinful men and women,and exists for them, implicitly rejects the gospel of grace. As Hans Kung says, 'It deserves neither God's mercy nor men's trust. The church must constantly be aware that its faith is weak,its knowledge dim, its profession of faith halting, that there is not a single sin or failing which it has not in one way or another been guilty of. And though it is true that the church must always dissociate itself from sin, it can never have any excuse for keeping any sinners at a distance. If the church remains self-righteously aloof from failures, irreligious and immoral people, it cannot enter justified into God's kingdom. But if it is constantly aware of its guilt and sin, it can live in joyous awareness of forgiveness. The promise has been given to it that anyone who humbles himself will be exalted.'"

"There is a myth flourishing in the church today that has caused incalculable harm-once converted, fully converted. In other words, once I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord ad Savior, an irreversible, sinless future beckons. Discipleship will be an untarnished success story; life will be an unbroken upward spiral toward holiness. Tell that to poor Peter who, after three times professing his love for Jesus on the beach and after receiving the fullness of the Spirit at Pentecost, was still jealous of Pauls' apostolic success."

These are three separate paragraphs in "The Ragamuffin Gospel" So far it is an excellent read. I will keep you updated on this book.

I finished "The Shack". I thought is was an excellent work of FICTION.
Some of the authors thoughts are thought provoking, thereby making it a good book in my opinion.


****Hope everyone is planning to come to the house Monday.****

Wow...A Week has Passed

Wow. I did not realize a week had passed since my last post. I will post tomorrow, something funny maybe, who knows, I don't. I know that I have had an exhausting Emmaus weekend. But WOW, did the Spirit move on the men of walk number 58. Praise God. I think from Thursday night until last night I got 14 hours of sleep, yeppie. It was great. Loved every single moment of it. Will do it again and again and again, as long a God continues to ask.

I went and got the boys today up in Tennessee, met my mom halfway, stop at unclaimed baggage on my way home, got Kid-O from school, cooked dinner, went to the store, now blogging. I am exhausted and ready for bed. Maybe I will have some funny dream to share in the morning, or better yet what God tells, and shows me in the morning in his Word.

By the way, saving money on groceries is going fabulous. Potty training, well that just sinks. Go figure.

Good night.

Man's Plan, God's Plan

I find much comfort in this scripture today.

Micah 2:1-3 "Woe to those who plan iniquity, to those who plot evil on their beds! At morning's light they carry it out because it is in their power to do it. They covet fields and seize them, and houses, and take them. They defraud a man of his home, a fellowman of his inheritance. Therefore, the Lord says: "I am planning disaster against this people, from which you cannot save yourselves. You will no longer walk proudly, for it will be a time of calamity."

Since Floyd's death, and knowing what was done to him out of greed, I have been angry and unsettled. However knowing all along vengeance is God's not mine; therefore, just keeping my mouth shut. Well, this morning during my study time, God lead me to Micah 2. What comfort He has given me, but yet heartache for what He will do.

Did not know this....

So, the hubby said that the dogwood is an Easter flower. Never heard that before, but it makes sense. The flower is shaped like a cross, the brown spots on the flower looks like blood drops, and the buds that are currently green, about Easter will open up and look like a crown of thrones. Go figure. I did not know that. I like it though.

5:44

At 5:44 PM, March 18, 2009, Floyd passed from here to Heaven.

July 4, 1917 - March 18, 2009 (91)
Wife Clara September 8,1922 - December 5, 2002 (80)

I was the one that got the blessing of being with him. I will never forget the look, and knowing that I am the one he got to see as he was leaving. I told my mom, that it was selfish, she said no it wasn't because that is what he wanted. However, the harsh reality hit when the niece got to the nursing home about 40 minutes later. I asked if there was anything that I could do, so she asked me to stay until the funeral director got there to pick up the body. When he got there and asked questions that I knew the answer too, he said you must have known him well, I said very well I walked to his house when I was 5. Then the niece introduced me as "just the neighbor girl". Wow, what a slap in the face. I called the only living relative of Clara last night on my way home to let her know. As we were talking, she told me that Floyd and Clara had told them numerous times, I was the child they were never able to have. It is amazing how you know the truth, but yet Satan can take it and twist it in to something it is not, whether it be scriptural truth or human truth.

No Words...

Watching death is beyond words.

The body shutting down.
Grasping for breath.
Glazed over eyes.
Smells.
Trying to focus on the good times, not the present.
Desperately not wanted to remember a dear friend this way.
Singing.
The Gospel: what peace.
Skin and bones.
Crying.
Praying, pleading, begging.
Hurt feeling.
Not blood, but the only child he ever had, and yet pushed to the side.
Sitting.
Watching: for hours.
How long must he suffer.
The pain and sadness God felt as he watched his Son die.
Wondering what they hear, what they comprehend when you speak.
Getting a blink because he knows I am there.

This is my week, watching a wonderful man who help raise me die.